


Seattle

by Wilkins0n15



Series: How to build a home [4]
Category: USWNT - Fandom
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-26 18:00:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20934383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wilkins0n15/pseuds/Wilkins0n15
Summary: Tobin will say that Seattle’s never been a city to note before today. Never paid it much attention, but it’s something electric in the air. That seems to settle before she even stirs.





	Seattle

Tobin will say that Seattle’s never been a city to note before today. Never paid it much attention aside from its label of home to the reign. A team she has only known to despise even though it’s populated by teammates and friends she’s accumulated from years spent in hotel rooms across the world over. She’s stayed here in their guest bedrooms, walked the city streets, but never paid it any attention. To her it was always just another city. And if asked how she would explain it she would say it belongs to Hope. And if she pauses to think how poignant it all sounds she’ll shrug it all off. 

But today it’s something electric that settled in the air before she even stirs. It sets fire to her senses on this side of just awake, like something is coming, a tide ready to break. 

Thinks it’s in the way the air seems to settle in a halo that surrounds Christen as she sleeps next to her. Catching her breaths coming shallow, a simple rise and fall of her chest. And she’s scared to give words to the moment, afraid to disturb her to the point of waking. So she lays in the haze of being on just this side of awake, tracing the lines of her body as she sleeps. 

She can’t really say when it began, the falling asleep next to each other. She can only say it happened slowly and then sudden, with a night neither wanted to end. And it wasn’t planned, none of what they ever do is. It was just a simple act to lay down, both too tired to move. to give words to what was coming that they didn’t want to prevent from happening. And they’ve slept next to each other in other cities, spoke just under whispers until suddenly falling asleep. But it’s something electric in the air today that has her pausing.

And it’s a thought she’s always had, sitting dormant in the back of her head. That one day, she can’t say when, she is going to marry her. And she wants to say the realization is sudden, overwhelming in its inevitability, but she can’t. Because it’s always been there sitting barely contained beneath rib cages. And she wants nothing more than write it all down, trace its path in ink, along curls that creep like vines against her ribs. Think how it’s all so different, to wake up next to her without the thought to leave. 

Thinks it’s all so different how she used to fight to sit still, when she would wake up next to someone different. And in the beginning of all this, learning how to love, she would wake with the thought of leaving. she’d be torn from sleep, lost in where she was, laid next to a different sleeping body. And how all she could ever know was the thought of leaving. But how it’s so sudden and deep, to want to stay here feigning sleep just to be next to her. It’s so sudden and deep how she thinks she’s going to marry her. 

There’s no rush to get up, no practice to run to, no meetings to call her. So she just lays there counting her breaths, watching the flutter of eyelashes over eyes she thinks are too green to be grey. And she wants to know what she tastes of, if her lips are soft, her tongue sweet. Wants to know the sounds of her sighs as they fall on her skin. But she lays so still just to understand what it means to lay next to her. Lets fingers trace lines of curls that run along ribs. 

And she’s so tired of running, of being scared, too old to play the game much longer. So she lets her bones settle, her heart beat racing when she realizes what it means to call something home. But it’s been there from the beginning, she felt it in their first handshake. That whatever Christen Press becomes, whomever she grows to be, Tobin Heath will always love her. It’s a surety that she has leaned back into over the years spent talking over distances, and around people between them. And she hates to admit it, that all the people in the in-between were just placeholders, teachers to get them to here and now.

But it’s not a thought too overwhelming, too scary, to hold on the tip of her tongue. And she was scared to say it out loud before, that whatever she’s feeling is so sure, like a fact. She was scared to say it in the beach back when her heart was breaking. But the thing about Christen is that she’s never paused to give it thought that what she says to her is vulnerable. With her they’re just facts, things she knows for certain. Like all she’s ever truly known since meeting her is that she cant imagine being without her in some way.

But it’s something in the air or maybe just the moment, but it’s shifted something inside her. What’s surprising is that it’s not heavy or scary, what’s surprising is that it feels much like everything else. Sure, and right. In the same way that she knows when to hold the ball and when to strike. And her faith has been tested, her decisions doubted but this seems certain in its actions. To brush her hair from her face, trace the line of her jaw. To stay so still so that she doesn’t disturb her, so that she knows what it means to lay next to her. 

“You know people might think it’s creepy to watch someone sleeping.” Her voice is rustic, low and hoarse, barely a whisper when she speaks. Tobin thinks it’s something she wants to hear again and again.

“Those people aren’t laying next to you.” And she should be embarrassed to speak so freely all the thoughts that come to her mind. But with Christen they’re are merely facts that she wants to voice. 

“How do you do that?” She thinks her eyes are green in the morning light. That the light knows enough to want to keep her in its grasp, shining like a halo. 

“Do what?” Her voices fights to keep quiet, to stay in the confines of this moment.

“Just say things like that,” and they both move into each others spaces, not yet ready to touch. “How do you just say things like that as if they’re so casual.”

“Nothing about you is casual Chris.” She thinks she could kiss her, just press her lips against hers. “Something’s shouldn’t be kept quiet.”

They’ve spent the past few months talking over chess boards and coffee cups. Talking about everything but what Tobin feels they need to talk about. And it’s been safe, and warm to let them both heal while still so close to this thing that sits inside them. 

“Will you still think that in a year?” If it was anyone else asking her that question, Tobin would pause to take count of what she should say. She would think a year too long, and her mind too young to agree to something so big. But here, in this moment, Tobin doesn’t think to stop from answering. 

“I’ve always thought that with you, i don’t think I’ll stop.” But a year can be so long, and for all the things that Tobin Heath is, patient is not one of them. “Ask me again though, in a year or more.”

“More?” And Tobin thinks that to voice it now may be too much for the moment, so she grows bold in her actions. Reaches to know the shape of her mouth, feels how soft they are against her finger tips. 

“As many as you’ll let me have.” She can kiss her, she feels that Christen would allow it. 

Thinks that in all their conversations she’s grown solid in that fact. But to kiss her now would be too bold an act when all she wants to say, is that she’s going to marry her one day. If she’ll have her, if they’re ready for it. Instead she freezes at Christen kissing her fingers, mind racing to memorize everything about her before she lets her hand fall.

“I like the things you say.” And this isn’t new, waking up to her. They’ve fallen into some routine of sharing beds and waking next to each other. But there’s something about today that has Tobin laying so still so that she doesn’t disturb her. “Like you’ve never been scared to speak your mind.”

“I wouldn’t say I’m not scared.” No to be honest Tobin feels terrified in the same manner of way that she does before a game. Like everything could change, fall apart or connect in just the right way. “I’m just brave enough to know that I’d regret not saying it.”

“Are you- can I?” There’s a worry in her eyes that settles uneasy in Tobin’s stomach. Like maybe she shouldn’t be so bold all the time. “Today. Can we just, can we just be alone today?”

“I’m all yours, if you want.” And she knows the words are heavy, that they hold so much meaning in them. But she’s aware of the shift in the air, eager to start this life anew. 

“You say that like I’d never want it.” Her voice is quiet, lower than a whisper. spoken in the way that tobin has only ever heard her speak once before. When they sat drinking whiskey, counting the waves as they crashed. When they waited for the break. 

But words fail her, and everything settles deep into the space of her ribs. Hitting soft against her sternum, growing in the rise of her lungs. So she leans in to press her lips to the crown of her hair. Wonders why it took her so long to get to here. 

The sound of her alarm tears them from the moment, it pulls Christen from bed and reminds Tobin of how early it really is. How they’ve only just begun, and to be so bold in her thoughts can be seen as reckless. So she settles back, watching Christen get ready for the day like this is something casual. She just watches as she hums, dresses in a stolen sweater and fusses over her hair. Pulls her close so that she can hold her, cements the smell of her perfume in her memory before they set off for breakfast. 

And it’s a routine now, the way they walk shoulder to shoulder. Hands just grazing as if they are daring each other to grab hold. It’s a routine now, to slip out the side doors of the hotel so they can explore the city alone. Neither questioning where they’re going, instead just following which ever light is green, which ever street less crowded. So they eat breakfast in some bakery 7 blocks away, where the buildings start to shift from shops and offices to houses and apartments. Christen moves to find a spot while Tobin orders.

It’s become routine to wander from shop to shop. Playing dress up to make the other laugh. And if they reach out to touch the others arm, hand or back to make certain that it’s all real. They’ll shrug it all off like it’s something done casually. Laugh at the looks from people stood near by when they pretend to fight over some sweater. Bicker over who gets to wear it first, with Tobin claiming ownership and Christen demanding it on weekends. 

When they stumble across teammates when the clock strikes one. They settle into the group, shuffling chairs and people so they can sit next to each other like it’s nothing unusual. If Tobin seeks out her touch, laying hand over leg under the table, as they talk to the others. Then it’s played off as nothing unusual, until the time comes to leave. And they’re asked to part in three different ways. One to play video games, the other for a manicure, or if they wanted to head to a movie. It’s all shrugged off with words of no thanks, as Tobin orders them more coffee. Christen moves to gather a chessboard from a shelf, like nothing is out of the ordinary. Like all of their actions are so typical, so routine.

They find a park, an ice cream shop and the path to the water. They argue over renting bicycles or scooters, before deciding on walking. Tobin chases seagulls and makes a fool of herself just to make Christen laugh. They share too many plates of food at a restaurant when they can’t decide what to order. Stop to takes pictures with fans that seems too shy to approach them but sit staring. And everything about the day seems too big to make a sound. But the thought grows heavy on Tobin’s tongue, and she thinks she’s going to say it before the night is done. 

They wander back, hands held loosely between them. Share shy smiles and a hug that has suddenly become not enough and too much at the same time. Until Tobin lets Kelley call her away, watches christen walking to the elevators from the corner of her eye. 

“Stop paying attention to Christen and focus on me Heath.” So she does, she shakes it all off and focuses on the grin that Kelley gives her.

“What’s up?” Thinks that nothing can stop her from being this happy.

“I need you to distract Alex and Allie, I’m going to help Sonnett and the kids with a prank.” She notes the way she says her name, how she made sure to sound it out slow. 

“Why would I do that?” States back at the dare in her eye.

“Oh, I don’t know...” And she knows what she’s going to say before she says it. “maybe to stop me from mentioning your day with one miss Christen Press to them?” 

“You can tell them whatever you’d like Kell’s.” She bites her tongue to keep from laughing at the look she gets in turn. “Ask Pinoe for help, or Kling. They’re always up for a prank.”

Turns away with a grin at the sound of her phone going off. Thinks the question she texts her makes the day that much better. “I don’t want our day to end.” So she opts for the stairs, too impatient for the elevator, runs the 5 flights to her floor. Finds her waiting outside her hotel door, bags gone and clothes changed. 

“Wait for a second?” Rushes to tear her shoes off and change into shorts as she replaces shopping bags for a ball. Feels her heart skip, stutter and beat double when she steps out to her smile as she shakes her head.

“Why am I not surprised.” Thinks she could kiss her, lay her hand on her waist and press their lips together. But stops when Christen grabs the balls from her hands, hands grazing over her own. “Courtyard?”

Follows the sway of her hips back down to the lobby. Ignores all the yelling from the conference room as they slip out unnoticed. Spend the night not talking, just passing the ball and fighting just to know what the other feels like. And Tobin knows she’s going to let slip, that she’ll be hers forever if she’ll have her. She feels it growing in her lungs when she grabs Christen and spins her away from the ball. 

Thinks she can kiss her, that it’s not too bold a thought. That it’s not out of place to want to kiss her when she’s laughing so carelessly and wild. She thinks Seattle’s never been a city to note before. But her eyes are so green in its city lights, and all she wants to do is kiss her. So she sets her down, lets her turn so that they’re face to face. And oh how her touch burns when she grabs for her arms, as they move to her shoulders. And she wants this to be slow, that they’re both sure in their actions. She wants her to know that even though she wants this, god does Tobin want it, she’ll wait until Christen’s ready.

“Tobin?” She thinks she can smell the chocolate from dinner still on her breathe. 

“Yeah?” Finds the words hard to form, struggles to voice them. 

“What’re you thinking?” And her voice is low, like it was on the beach. The air electric, like something, maybe everything, is about to break. But it’s the thought that came sudden when she woke up, that slips from her tongue.

“That someday I’m going to marry you Christen Press.” And she should be so embarrassed to say something so early in whatever they are. 

But it’s the way that Christen grasps at her shoulders, pulling her closer, that let’s her hold her tightly. Thinks that maybe, in some way, it’s finally their time. Tobin thinks of every moment she’s thought of her, of everyone they’ve been. From scared and overwhelmed kids on the Pali blues to teammates in hotel rooms the world over. She thinks of all the things they’ve fought through to get to here. Says a prayer of devotion that she’ll fight to stay here, and is answered with the breaking of clouds, the sudden pouring of rain. 

They pull apart enough to look at each other before laughing. And Tobin lets Christen pull her across the courtyard, forgetting sandals and the ball behind. She lets her pull her to front of the hotel, finding cover under the awning before she stops her. Thinks it needs to be now, that she can’t wait any longer. 

“Chris, wait.” 

It’s without thought or hesitation that she places her hand on the back of her neck. It’s without thought or hesitation that she holds her close, presses her lips to the corner of her mouth slowly before it all turns sudden. And she’ll tell you that she’s always known she’s loved Christen, she’ll tell every moment she’s thought it. But that moment, when she first kissed her, she knew it was their time. 

“Whoa.” They break when it becomes too much and air is needed. Tobin tries to breathe in on a count of 4,3,2, release but her heart beats double against her sternum. The urge to kiss her again grows in her lungs as they fight to gain air. So she does, again and again until it slows into just a press of their lips. Christen’s grin breaking them apart before she says, “you’re going to marry me?”

Tobin laughs before shrugging it off, like it’s so casual a fact. “Someday, Yeah.”

“You’re going to ask me to marry you someday?” She says it in a tone meant to tease, her eyes bright but focused. Like she understands just what Tobin means. 

“Yeah. Someday I’m going to ask you to marry me.” Thinks she’ll let her tease her forever if it means she’ll keep looking at her like that. 

“Promise?” She nods her head yes as Christen kisses her, languid and slow, like she wants to remember it.


End file.
